Best Dead Baby Jokes I've Seen All Day...
After a particularly difficult delivery, the doctor held up the newborn, cut the umbilical cord, and took a moment to look the baby over. Then, without missing a beat, the doctor threw the child against a nearby wall with all his might. The mother watched in shock as the baby slid to the floor with a sickening thud.
The nurses and orderlies stood by aghast as the doctor proceeded to dribble the newborn around the room like a soccer ball before finally passing the baby through the door into the hall with a mighty kick. Everyone, including the fatigued mother, chased the doctor into the hall just in time to see him scoop up the infant and run down the corridor, stopping just long enough to bodycheck the child into the wall every so often.
At the end of the hall, the doctor gave a mighty leap and slam-dunked the baby into a nearby trashcan, giving himself a loud roar of approval. Finally, the now quite large awe-struck crowd caught up with the doctor. The mother was distraught and burst into tears.
"Why? Why in the name of God did you do that to my baby?" she cried.
The doctor replied: "I'm just messin' with ya. It was stillborn."
Q: What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
A: I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...
Q: How long does it take to kill a baby in a microwave?
A: How the fuck should I know? I was too busy masturbating...
Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
A: Depends how hard you throw 'em.
Q: What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
Q: What's more fun than a barrel of dead babies?
A: Sticking pins in their eyes.
Q: What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night?
A: Crib death.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.
Q: How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
A: The dog plays with it more.
A: What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them in the ass.
Q: How do you make a gay man pregnant?
A: Stick a dead baby up his ass!
A: What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ?
A : A Pedophile's ass.